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There are times where one person will get their act together because they’re afraid to lose something good or they’re determined to win something good.But I can’t think of a time where the insecurity of one partner inspired a change in the other partner.Especially when the insecure partner isn’t willing to walk away regardless of whether or not they get what they want.Rather than wanting him to change, the better path is to move towards understanding each other better.

When men act out in whatever way they act out, you’ll find what I just described at the heart of the matter: a deep feeling of separateness, insignificance and undesirability.you don’t know his motivation or what he “gets” from it.Instead, you’re focusing on how YOU feel about it and that YOU don’t like it. You can feel hurt and victimized or you can open your eyes to the bigger picture…It’s not like one morning he just went out and started having sexy flirtations with other women all of a sudden and you were shocked. but secretly you hoped and believed that he would change for you.And now, a little over a year into the relationship you’re disappointed that he’s still the same guy… People do this all the time, but it doesn’t make it right or sane.The fact is, this whole pattern of people projecting a fantasy version of someone onto the actual person is ludicrous.There are times where one person might inspire change in another person, but it’s because the other person wanted the change themselves as well.Understanding each other is the basis of connection.The fact is, he has these sexy flirtations with other women, but you don’t really know why…And yet, you’ve been demonstrating to him that you’re OK with it. Women feel this instinctively and will usually try to put up a front, claiming that they won’t stand for his bad behavior and making empty threats.The problem is that guys know a woman’s bluff from a mile away…


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