Over the course of several months of online dating, I discovered that the pool of available older women is vast and diverse (as is true of men, although perhaps to a lesser extent) and that with a little effort, a reasonably intelligent, halfway-presentable person can usually generate some interest on dating websites. We’ve survived death and divorce, raised families, managed careers and built support networks of family and friends.
But I wasn’t the same single guy I was the last time I lived here. And I wanted to meet people, so I turned to internet dating as a way to meet eligible women.
Men are often accused of focusing exclusively on the physical, but I soon realized there are plenty of women who do the same.For instance, does “loves sports” mean you’re up for cross-country skiing and white-water rafting, or is it a declaration that every weekend is devoted to channel-surfing the pro and college games? Potential dates skimming your profile are more likely to respond to specifics.Believe me, it’s a much better strategy than scheduling a coffee date and finding you have little or nothing in common.A few dating sites allow men and women to fire off a canned “Hey, there! Better to write your own greeting and show you actually looked at the person’s profile.“I see that you love One Hundred Years of Solitude.Trust me, no one wants to see your personal care items or shower curtain.Move to another room (or go outside) and have someone else take your picture.And even though procreation is off the table, I picked up clear signals from the women I met online that the meter is running, so it’s best to get on with things.Most wanted to push past the introductory emails and calls to schedule a get-together ASAP.A professional photo is a good idea, too — and if you do it right, you can wind up with one shot for your dating profile and one for your Linked In page. If we can’t pick you out of your bowling team lineup or every picture features you in floppy hats and big sunglasses, you’re unlikely to draw much attention.The same goes for blurry pictures or too many photos of your pets, possessions or grandkids (no offense to the little darlings). Many women I spoke with were alternately amused and disgusted by bare-chested guys flashing their pecs in — you guessed it — bathroom selfies. Ladies: The number of lewd messages you receive is directly proportionate to the amount of skin you display.